Exceed the limit, raise themselves
A border, a line terminal or partition . Often in sports the delimitation of a field of competition law in the border between legality and illegality, the border last with an excess or abuse , or worse evil. In the world of work and social life the sphere of competence of an individual, exceeded the limit of what is possible, the patience or the end of the last border of ambition . In the religious field the limit of infinite divine mercy and confinatezza of human limitations .
Ultimately the term limit can be conceived as a barrier, an obstacle that hinders our path , a stop to the achievement of the desired result , our chosen destination . From here often feel they can not go beyond, to not succeed and fail , sometimes accompanied by a sense of frustration and failure, even uncomfortable.
Human beings are by their nature limited beings who have to cope and adapt to the limitations under which collide at all stages of their lives. Each carries its own limit , whether visible or not. Each is every day to “fight ” with their limitations , such as in failing well in something , at work, in relationships , in family, in character, in sport. When you can not get to the final destination, you increase the efforts , commitment , but sometimes in spite of everything you are unable to reach an objective so desired , thus proving a sense of emptiness , frustration, suffering , leading to reconsider the way up to that time traveled.
Working on their own limitations , accept them and improve them on a daily basis , it can be the start toward the fulfillment : the development of personal potential . But to do this you need to start a reverse procedure : discover their talent . Yeah … but how?
Accept the limit
Perfection is unattainable , but trying to achieve it we can achieve excellence. Vince Lombardi
The man who accept their limitations is the one who figured out who he really is. He was able to recognize his vocation , the way to go , and that’s why you feel happy and confident. Everyone can find their own way : professional, artistic , sentimental , the fact is that it may be clear from an early age or, as more often happens, or happens only discovered in adulthood, and after numerous attempts . Some people even can not find it ever. The task is difficult , in fact , I have often noticed in my work as actually people seem to “blink ” by accident in front of his talent , discovering almost without wanting to really do . It exists as a hidden part of us that drives sometimes to escape from their talent. Oh yes, because contrary to popular belief , we can actually have a great fear of finding ourselves winning , talented in a certain field . Everyone believes that it would be nice to have some special talent , but we actually psychological mechanisms that make us fight against ourselves for not overcome our limitations .
The talent is indeed something special in the collective imagination , something that if you have one should magically bring us to the success and the achievement of important advantages . But it is not, this music is not . To succeed you have to have talent, this is undoubted.
But we also need other virtues such as resilience ( or fortitude ) , courage, intelligence ( in various forms ) , ideal to be pursued , the shrewdness and experience , the training – proper training , … and a mind and a personality sgombere , prepared, ready to translate into effective action our desires and intentions.
Leveraging a talent resembles more to a project and therefore to a mission that is not the result of a “dowry magic .”
We actually of natural instruments at our disposal , to be used to start this long process, first of all the learning potential. It is a natural propensity of man to understand and integrate within itself all the new knowledge and experience with which it interacts, to integrate them in their psychological system , in her mind , inside her. Over time, we bear within us a whole range of learning new and adapted to us that we use to progress, to overcome our limitations , developing ourselves .
Well this innate ability is regulated by a powerful psycho- physiological mechanism: imitation. It is nothing but the constant and careful observation of some visible patterns that we especially like, we would like to just imitate, we’d like to possess certain qualities or quality . Watching them in a systematic way , in behavior, in the way we interact and react in the way we communicate, we are able in time to ” replicate ” these models absorbing them within ourselves and adapting them to our lives. We take them as in our daily metabolizzandoli and absorbing, because our mind makes us expect that their behavior “winning” can also become ours, arrecandoci advantage and they do a few road of success similar to their own. The imitation also allows us to discover ourselves, because looking outside of ourselves , we realize in reality an immediate comparison , sometimes unconscious, with our patterns of behavior and thought. By imitation learn and grow , discovering contrast to parts of ourselves hitherto unknown , set aside.
I recall with pleasure my first tennis matches as a young man , I used to stare for hours and hours playing the champions of the TV, and then tried to replicate the technical gestures most beautiful in my games. I did not care of the result, I had only to try again and again several times fascinating shots of the samples for fun to ” try ” to be a bit ‘ like them. By imitation in the months I learned a lot of new shots , which I still have in my automated recreational game of Sunday. By imitation, superavo a daily limit and I enjoyed my little satisfaction of my technical improvement, scoprendomi time getting stronger. I had a talent in tennis, I understood , but did not see myself doing then a career as a player . My instinct led me somehow to coach .
On the contrary, those who do not observe others and learn to imitate him , in the end you lose the opportunity to discover their own limits for indirect comparison , is not revealed fully . Means nothing more than trying to imitate even outside himself, as we complete the process in looking for then it is not compensate for the missing part with its own external security , but use an effective model for understanding where to work and where to begin to redefine itself .
It is a delicate process that leads us to respond in time to the uncomfortable question: are really brought ?
The man has the ability , if desired, to withstand losses : it is called resilience. Take, for example, the student who takes a bad grade examination for which you are very prepared : get discouraged , it degrades and , if you lock and the experience is repeated over time , can change right up to or leaving school. This is incorrect but it is logical , because if in reacting and understand where are the difficulties things do not change , he will not deduct that the next time will take very good grades , but will think exactly the opposite. Respond with an obvious ” <em> hey … maybe they are not worn, not for me </ em> ” ; respectable thought , but it is the truth? It is certain that failure to yield does not depend on some mechanism unknown to him that blocks and curbs on their most beautiful ? You can be sure that all the lost years in that sector are to be thrown away ? I believe that we have the duty and the courage to try to really tackle our limits . How ? Studying , exploring them , testing them with a truly scientific method , trying to fix them with a work plan .
In my professional sporting competition has taught me that even the best team can lose , but if you leave overpower the depression of defeat not only loses , does much more : it triggers a cascade process that can lead you to lose self-esteem and change the idea of itself. The defeat and disappointment must be used with a method of understanding how to react, to change pattern of action, finding new ways and invent new strategies , dare I say it to discover us always a little ‘ more. Resilience is exactly that , a quality out of the ordinary to respond to events , is the art of the whole human back . It can be trained , coached , and will deepen in the next section .
In summary , everyone can make mistakes , even the great leaders , the samples suffer defeats, but take the opportunity to learn and react. The failure to re-envision is essentially completely : it is an opportunity for the individual. It is often accompanied by an alarm bell , which serves to warn us that there is something to remember , that maybe there are unexpected fragility of our points : it’s called performance anxiety. The method of defeat and errors allows us to do something different , new and creative : it allows us to create the alternative. Creating new relational schemas , emotional , thought … even perceptive , step by step we create our new ” psychological system ” , which is essential for the realization of self. We build in essence a new mentality , coming from the defensive entrenchment that we adopted and inherited from our past and from the education received , ” coming out ” , projecting completely beyond our previous limits. We go out so that the Russian Vigotsky called zone of proximal development , to indicate that area of their own safety to all individuals that is a bit ‘ like a little chair on which to be more relaxed , compared to challenge everything that inspires us and we generates stress.
Inner world and the real world then , there are two really is not one as everyone believes . Here , our inner world is not the real world. The outside world we encode translating it into a private reality day after day , interpreting it with our experiences that become our key to understanding what happens to us . It’s a little ‘ how to put the yellow -colored glasses : the real world there will appear yellow, but we know that is not the reality , that is not so . The experiences that we live integrate them with those we have experienced in the past, to which we have given meanings more or less important and that make up our history.
Continuing this process over time we all construct our identity , we define who we are and that is what has happened to us . This scientific consideration is critical because there must be a vision of a better understanding of ourselves and our limits .
Thanks to our 5 senses and concert recordings sensory working , we build and stabilize over time a personal style of perception , a way that is ” see and feel ” the world around us , the reality . This is key to understanding our way to relate to the world , so it takes the scientific interpretation keys that allow us to find out how to perceive it.
Consider, for example when we happened to be particularly nervous , as it changes our sense of the world around , how can we become extremely susceptible and touchy in front of some normal external stimulus , which maybe we do not normally the case every day. Ultimately our perceptual system is affected by a specific style , and above all is not stable in the days but fluctuating and influenced by our mood . Or by external stress . It is easy to see how this could become an additional obstacle , a limit, in the activities of performance.